Shot no.: 58
Song title: You’re Almost There
Point you’ve reached: The home stretch!
Two! Shots! Left! This one had to be faster than fast and higher energy than someone who did a power hour with Red Bull. The fact that every single line rhymes with every other line is a bonus. When I recorded this song I actually sang it a few keys lower and then digitally made my voice higher to give it that extra, chipmunk-on-speed quality that minute 58 really needed. I’m your biggest fan for this game and this song is me cheering you on to the end buzzer. Or I’m your coach and this is my last kick in your butt to get you to the finish line.
Check out in the video where my mic cuts out in the middle of the song because I’m fist pumping with it too much. Technical difficulties during my show are entirely acceptable as long as they happen in the last quarter of the game when everyone loves everyone and everything. Unconditional love is just one of the many happy side effects of getting this far in a power hour.
Now get to jumpin’ and fist pumpin’ because those activities are proven to incite the energy you need to get to the end of this game. This song is also helpful in case the party gets so crazy that people start wondering, “Where am I?!” The answer is: You’re almost there!
You’re almost there
So don’t despair
Two more shots if you weren’t aware
You must feel like a millionaire
Will you finish if you dare?
Any more shots you cannot bear
And to finish up you’re trying to share
To have to drink so much isn’t fair
You didn’t think you had a prayer
And if you cheat no one will care
If you missed a shot you’re unaware
You don’t look drunk I swear
Don’t look at others to compare
To get this far is really rare
It’s 90 ounces total so beware
Now go ahead and fix your hair
Is that what you’re gonna wear?
Because you must prepare
To go out into the night air
Or maybe just pass out right there
All you can do is sit and stare
Just don’t fall out of your chair
You’re almost there