Shot no.: 32
Song title: If You’re Wasted and You Know It
Style: Hip Hop
Common statement: I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough.
Yep. I took a children’s rhyme and turned it into a drinking song. You’re welcome.
I wanted a contrast between the music and the original kid’s chant so I wrote the backing track as a dirty, chopped and screwed hip hip hop beat. Lots of people will clap along to this song because they’re too drunk to realize I never actually say, “Clap your hands.”
Really though, if you think you’re drunk, you’re probably not. When someone’s really smashed they’ll tell you, “I’m FIIIIINE,” and then try and hold a conversation with a new friend. . . which turns out to be a plant, and help tidy up your table at the bar. . . which means seven broken glasses, and check their phone to follow up on some work emails. . . which gets them fired.
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Lyrics:
If you’re wasted and you know it you’re not wasted
If you’re wasted and you know it you’re not wasted
If you’re really truly gone
You will think that nothing’s wrong
If you really think you’re drunk you’re probably wrong
If you’re smashed and you know it you should drink
If you’re smashed and you know it you should drink
If you’re actually that cranked
You will think that you’re a tank
And you’ll tell your friends that you have barely drank
If you’re slammed and you know it you’re not slammed
If you’re slammed and you know it you’re not slammed
If you could blow a two
You will probably have no clue
So if you think you’re slammed finish your brew
If you’re wrecked and you know it you’re probably wrong
If you’re wrecked and you know it you’re probably wrong
Looking back tomorrow
Is the only way to know
And you probably won’t remember I told you so
