Shot no.: 59
Song title: But You Drink Instead
Style: Hip Hop/Electro
Drinking’s odds of winning: 0 to 1
Hello ladies and gentleman and welcome to the battle over what to do tonight! In the red corner, weighing in at 90 ounces, we have a power hour! In the blue corner we have a tag team of taking out the dog and paying your bills! Ready? Fight! *Ding Ding*
Guess who wins. Drinking trumps paying bills and/or walking the dog every time. TKO. Drinking has also taken out calculus, finishing that PowerPoint, PTA meetings and cleaning (your house or yourself). It’s not even a fair fight.
I do have a solution to this issue, though. It’s something you’ve heard me say many times. The way to fix this unfair advantage is, “Everybody wins!” Hooray! This doesn’t have to be drinking vs. everything that sucks more than drinking. It can be you and drinking vs. everything you’ve got to get done! Get smashed and walk your dog! Get on that conference call while you get into some liquor! Finish that term paper while you finish a long island! Take a beer in your shower! So next time you have to fill in the blank in the statement “I have a ______ but I’ll drink instead”. Don’t drink instead. Drink as well!
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Lyrics:
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
Kid, project due, prescription to take
Career, need to shower, phone call to make
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
Bill to pay, dog to walk, family reunion
Yard to mow, meal to eat, something that’s not fun
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
Sometimes you have a ______ but you drink instead
