Shot no.: 18
Song title: Synonyms for Drunk
Style: Bluegrass
Total synonyms: 91

This song is one of my favorites to perform live and one of the most challenging. It’s also generated one of the best T-shirts. You’ll see my friend Nancy* at 0:28 in the video below facing her back to me for this song. This is because she’s wearing one of my Synonyms for Drunk T-shirts which has all the song lyrics written on the back and she’s helping me remember the words! This was actually a legit practice when I first started performing power hours in small venues and I was close enough to read it. Now I’ve got the song down but turning around at track 18 is still the ritual. Nancy’s always got my back. (PUN!)

This song has three sections separated by a couple of dramatic pauses. It didn’t happen at the concert in the video but in the past, I’ll finish one section and when the music cuts out at the dramatic pause, the crowd will start the “Aaaaawww SHOT!” chant thinking it’s over. BUT NO! There are more synonyms for drunk. And at the second dramatic pause? “Aaaaawww SHO–” FOOLED AGAIN! You had no idea there were so many ways to express your intoxication.

I hope to someday have the ability to be so frivolous with these concerts that I’ll have a banjoist to perform in this song for exactly 60 seconds. He’d be working only 1.7% of a one-hour show. I guess that’s not as crazy as if I got an entire marching band to help with The Minute’s Not Up or rented a baby albino elephant guest star for Pink Elephant. This show is an invitation to make dramatic changes every 60 seconds and there is a high potential for that to get quite elaborate. I could easily pass Cher for the record of most costume changes and beat Carrot Top for number of props. Of course, I have a feeling my audience doesn’t really need that type of pizazz. Also, my audience would make fun of me for using the word “pizazz”.

*Names have been changed to protect the inebriated

Download the song: Synonyms for Drunk - The Power Hour Album

Get the T-shirt and gear:

In rare form and fried and whiskyfied, ossified, tipsy and tanked and sloppy and cranked, blotto, invincible, done, bent, stinko, messed up, tore up, lubed up, boozed up, liquored up, banged up, lit up, hooched up, buzzed and jazzed and glazed, embalmed, ripped and pissed and blitzed and bombed, sodden, logged and corked, unsober, shot and sopped and sotally tober, smashed, trashed, bashed, mashed, muzzy, fuzzy, dizzy, merry, screwed and glowing and nuked and blowing a two

Soaked and jiggered and gone and piffled, juiced and happy and seeing triple, loaded, polluted, toasted and stupid, inebriated, intoxicated, annihilated, saturated, lubricated, marinated, retarded, obliterated, pixilated, three sheets to the wind

Licked and plowed and mellow, ambushed, cocked and silly and hammered and crushed, drenched and wrenched and slammed and wasted, corked and skunked and sloshed, slambasted, blasted and plastered, shellacked and whacked and crunk and drunk