Shot no.: 17
Song title: Party Tattoos
Style: ’80s Rock
Laceration origin: Unknown
PAR•TY TAT•TOO – [ˈpärtē taˈto͞o] noun
1. An injury, which the afflicted party does not recall receiving, sustained during a night of drinking.
Origin: Your bed the next morning
Example: “I have so many party tattoos from last night I had to wear a turtleneck in July to cover them. . . also a leg brace”
The idea behind this song is one of my favorites. Injuries discovered the next morning seemed to be a common occurrence so I knew they needed a name. And it had to be a really badass name, too. “Last night owies” or “boo boos I don’t recall” just wasn’t going to cut it. So they became “party tattoos”. To accompany this new badass title I wrote a slammin’ ’80s song complete with face melting electric guitar solo. I hope this word rides my guitar wailing all the way into the drunk lexicon.
This song actually gave me a party tattoo the night of the concert in the video! Ok, so I remember it happening and it didn’t leave a mark but still. . . my neck was sore for the next two days from headbanging. It’s strangely comforting to think I probably killed more brain cells doing that than playing any drinking game.
Some of us are more apt to get party tattoos than others. It may be clumsiness. It may be that you have violent friends. It may be that you always end up at bars full of very sharp corners. Too bad you don’t remember. I myself am a graceful, delicate ballerina always emerging from a night of debauchery completely unscathed. (You should believe that because it’s on the internet.) But others, like my friend Helga* – who has the dangerous combination of bruising like a peach and a fondness yet lack of talent for drunk running – take on a Saturday night like a battle. We use Helga’s injuries as a measuring stick for the previous night’s insanity. I’m not saying you should aim to get party tattoos, but you should definitely be proud of them upon discovery.
*Names have been changed to protect the inebriated
Download the song: 
Lyrics:
Party tattoos
You party hard
So hard that you fall
You party hard
So hard you hurt your skull
You party hard
So hard you hit a wall
Party tattoos
You wake up the next day all black and blue
That’s what we like to call
Party tattoos
You party hard
So hard that you fall
You party hard
So hard you hurt your skull
You party hard
So hard you hit a wall
Party Tattoos
You remember how you got it then it’s a bruise
Otherwise you’ve earned that
Party tattoo
You party hard
So hard that you fall
You party hard
So hard you hurt your skull
You party hard
So hard you hit a wall
Party tattoos
Interesting song. Party Tattoos may bee cool name depending on the circumstances surrounding it. Good read.
I think this song is incredible. It’s about the commonality of not knowing things because you’re so drunk. Understandable. I can also tell you wrote it while you were drunk. This is really good and you should do more like this or you can actually pursue a real career. In music of course. Maybe as a body guard because trust me, with your music, fans would run screaming after a few verses. You’re welcome.